Children sleeping alone is a new idea
443 years ago, a Spanish bishop threatened to bar parents from Mass unless they made a cradle for their infant. So the debate over where children should sleep is nothing new. Historians and other experts in Denmark, Germany, the UK and Belgium believe the idea of children sleeping alone in their own bed emerged in the 19th century. Before then, people often shared beds. In a classic sample of 105 traditional societies worldwide, children slept alone in just 12.
What this means
- It is normal today for children to sleep alone in their own room, but historically, this is a recent development.
- The debate over where children should sleep is centuries old: the Church became involved in 1583, and 19th-century advice books gave conflicting advice about newborns.
- In most traditional societies, children slept with their mother, father or the whole family.
- The timeline shows when advice on children's sleep began to appear: first in bestselling advice books from the 1890s, and later in guidance from public authorities.
- The chapter also shows how cramped children's living conditions are today, providing context for how much space families have at home.
We do not have any historical accounts or housing data from Ireland.
Scenes from the history of beds
Seven dated scenes spanning 1583 to the late 19th century, each with a source. The label indicates whether the scene is about infants, older children or the bed itself. The guidance on infants is historical and not advice for today.
- 1583Galicia, SpainAbout infants
Build a cradle within 15 days or be denied Mass
En biskop i Galicien gav præsterne besked på at få forældrene til at lægge deres spædbørn i en vugge. Bøden var fire dukater. Så snart præsten hørte, at en kvinde var gravid, skulle familien have lavet en vugge inden 15 dage. Ellers blev forældrene udelukket fra messen. Begrundelsen var frygten for, at spædbørn blev kvalt i forældrenes seng.
This concerns infants. It reflects the Church's concern, not how many families slept together.
- 17th centuryEnglandAbout the bed
The largest bed of the era was 326 cm wide
Den største bevarede seng fra perioden, Great Bed of Ware, er 326 cm bred. En stor britisk seng i dag (super king) er omkring 200 cm.
The Great Bed of Ware stood in an inn and was not a family bed.
Source: Sarah Ann Robin, The Luminary (Lancaster University)
- 18th centuryCardiganshire, WalesAbout older children
The children's bed lived beneath their parents' bed
I små hjem blev en lav udtræksseng (på engelsk truckle bed) skubbet ind under forældrenes store seng om dagen. Om natten blev den trukket ud, og børnene sov i den. Et eksempel står i Llanon Cottage Museum.
“used by the children at night, while the parents slept within the box bed”
used by the children at night while their parents slept in the box bed
The museum beds come from a typical 18th-century home. This does not tell us how many families did the same.
Source: Sarah Ann Robin, The Luminary (Lancaster University)
- 1791Great BritainAbout infants
The doctor who wanted to do away with the cradle
Lægen William Buchan skrev i sin lægebog for familier, at det nyfødte barn som regel lå i seng hos moderen. Han mente samtidig, at vugger skadede børnene, og at man burde holde helt op med at bruge dem.
“the child is generally laid in bed with the mother”
the child is generally put to bed with its mother (William Buchan, 1791)
“it would be better if the use of them were totally laid aside”
it would be better to stop using them altogether (the cradles) (William Buchan, 1791)
He criticised the rocking and the warmth inside the cradle. In a note, the same book advises against sharing a bed with an infant. This is not current advice.
Source: William Buchan: Domestic Medicine, 12th edition, London 1791
- 1805EnglandAbout older children
The two-year-old nephew was his aunt's bedfellow
Forfatteren Dorothy Wordsworth skrev i et brev, at hendes toårige nevø John sov hos hende. En historiker, der har gennemgået breve, dagbøger og omkring 2.736 dødsboopgørelser fra 1650-1830, konkluderer, at man i alle samfundslag ofte delte seng, og at børn efter alt at dømme også gjorde det. En otteårig pige, Marjory Fleming, skrev et vers om, hvor rart det var at krybe i seng hos sin kusine.
“is my bed fellow”
is my bedfellow (Dorothy Wordsworth on her nephew John, 1805)
“Bed-sharing saved space; kept bedfellows warm; and kept infants near carers.”
Sharing a bed saved space, kept bedfellows warm and kept young children close to those caring for them. (Historian Frances Long, 2022)
Most of the sources come from literate families who could afford beds. They do not tell us how many people shared a bed.
- 1861 and 1878EnglandAbout infants
The experts disagreed
To kendte rådgivningsbøger gav modsatte råd om nyfødte. Isabella Beeton skrev i 1861, at mødre aldrig måtte lade barnet sove i forældrenes seng. Lægen Pye Henry Chavasse svarede i 1878 »bestemt ikke« til spørgsmålet, om en nyfødt skal ligge alene fra starten. Hans bog var så populær, at 20.000 eksemplarer af én udgave blev udsolgt på under tre år.
Isabella Beeton, 1861versus“never to let it sleep in the parents' bed”
never let the child sleep in its parents' bed
Pye Henry Chavasse, 1878“Ought a babe to lie alone from the first?” (Should a newborn child sleep alone from the outset?)
“Certainly not”
Certainly not
Both pieces of advice concern newborns and are not current advice. Chavasse also believed the child should sleep alone after the first few months.
Sources: Isabella Beeton: Mrs. Beeton's Book of Household Management (1861); Pye Henry Chavasse: Advice to a Mother, 13th edition (1878)
- Late 19th centuryGreat BritainAbout the bed
A bed of your own became a sign of civilisation
En historiker har undersøgt, hvordan søvnen blev organiseret i Victoriatidens Storbritannien. Hans konklusion: ved slutningen af 1800-tallet var den enkeltes egen seng blevet en selvfølge i et »civiliseret« samfund.
“by the end of the 19th century the individual bed was regarded as an essential ingredient of civilized society”
by the end of the 19th century, a bed of one's own was considered an indispensable part of civilised society (Historian Tom Crook, 2008)
This is about norms and ideas, not what families actually did.
Source: Tom Crook: Norms, Forms and Beds, Body & Society 2008
Source: Bishop Juan de San Clemente, 16 May 1583, translated in a collection of sources published by Cambridge University Press; Sarah Ann Robin, The Luminary (Lancaster University); William Buchan: Domestic Medicine, 12th edition, London 1791; Frances Long: PhD thesis, University of York, 2022; Isabella Beeton: Mrs. Beeton's Book of Household Management (1861); Pye Henry Chavasse: Advice to a Mother, 13th edition (1878); Tom Crook: Norms, Forms and Beds, Body & Society 2008.
You may use the timeline and summary under these terms. The statements themselves belong to the experts and books quoted.
From a shared bed to a room of their own
When experts believe the idea of sleeping alone emerged, and when bestselling parenting books and official guidance followed. Tap a point to learn more.
1894 · Holt: The Care and Feeding of Children
The idea of leaving a child to cry ('cry it out') can be traced back to this point Source
Source: Mikkel Venborg Pedersen (Videnskab.dk, 2017); Nora Imlau (Personal blog post, 2011); Helen Ball's sleep centre at Durham University (Basis, 2025); Anouk Van Nuffel (VRT NWS, 2026).
You may use the timeline and summary under these terms. The statements themselves belong to the experts and books quoted.
Who did children sleep with?
105 traditional societies around the world. Each square represents one society.
In all 173 societies where researchers recorded this information, babies slept in the same room as their mothers and, in 43.9% of them, in the same bed. Teenagers slept with the whole family in 56 of 96 societies.
Source: Standard Cross-Cultural Sample, SCCS1710 via D-PLACE.
You may use the graphic under these terms. The studies the figures are based on belong to the researchers.
Space in the home
How overcrowded children’s homes are across Europe today.
Percentage of children under 18 living in a home with too few rooms for the family under the EU definition, 2025. The Netherlands has the lowest figure at 5.7%, while Romania has the highest at 61.5%.
Source: Eurostat ilc_lvho05a (2025); Eurostat ilc_hcmh02 (2023); Eurostat: when a home is considered overcrowded.
You may use the graphic under these terms. The measurements the figures are based on belong to those who produced them.
How we calculated it
The scenes: Each scene is based on a historical source or a historian's account, and the quotes are reproduced verbatim (with our translation below). The scenes show what people wrote or decreed, not how many families acted in a particular way. The advice about infants is presented as history and is not advice for today.
The experts: The claims about when the idea of sleeping alone emerged are assessments by historians and authors, not measurements. The timeline presents them as periods.
The societies: The Standard Cross-Cultural Sample is a classic collection of 186 pre-industrial societies used by researchers to compare cultures. Who children slept with is recorded for 105 of them. Where babies slept is recorded for 173, and where young people slept for 96 (data via D-PLACE).
The books: The books' sales figures (tap a book on the timeline) come from Wikipedia. We have been unable to find a source for what Spock's book says about sleeping in the parents' bed.
The home: Under the EU definition (Eurostat), a home is not considered overcrowded when two children under 12 share a room. Home sizes are for households with two adults and children (2023).